i've had enough of every single lies you've made up .
everything seems to be so wonderful .
but ,
it isn't .
deep inside ,
nobody knows what you are thinking .
i have done my utmost best .
being your girlf ,
being your friend ,
or even being your sex partner .
i clearly understand what is you motive for me being to batok .
but ,
i choose to close my eye .
simply just because ,
i love you too much .
do you understand why i hit th floor , th wall ?
do you know why i drink every single night ?
do you know why i bang th wall with my head .
do you know why i wanted to slash myself ?
because i have no ways to vent my frustrations on .
i wanted to leave .
i want to say my last goodbye to you .
somethings are just pulling me back .
a womanizer like you just won't understand .
do you even feel sad for me ?
even a sense of pity ?
will you ?
i'm just wondering how many other girls has alr became
th victim ?
i wana trust you .
i so wana go to thailand to live with you .
when are you gonna be truthful to me ?
when are you gonna tell me whats really on your mind ?
are those care and words true ?
whatever you have told me .
i took it for real .
and took it hard .
thus causing me to be so down .
WHAT IS YOUR FCUKING MOTIVE ?
did i huan tio you anot ?
why must you hurt me time and again ?
have i done something in th past life ?
why do i deserve such treatments ?
not once .
NOT TWICE .
how many times you want ?
stop telling me anything about you and your life .
i fcuking so don't wana know anything .
you have never once wanted to let me know you loved me .
maybe .
you din't atall .
upon getting so many scoldings ,
upon getting so much hurt .
what ben said is right .
i have to endure till my max .
then i will leave .
really leave .
i admit .
i wanted to leave long ago .
yes .
you know i loved you .
you know how much you mean to me .
that's why i am a chip to you .
i can be easily used by you .
right ?
am i right ?
when you have th urge .
just ring me up .
and i will be there .
i thought you have always been smsing with GIRLS ?
can't you find them ?
or they are not AS CHEAP AS ME ?
HUH ?
it's really time i wakeup .
can it be called a nightmare ?
or a sweet dream .
i doubt it ISN'T a sweet dream atall .
boy ,
have you ever asked yourself ?
just by having a little looks ,
and you go around lying to girls .
trying to hoax them onto bed ?
and throw them .
isn't that cruel ?
do you actually believe in retributions ?
can you ever believe i will write such things about you here ?
i have been telling myself .
you are a good guy .
or i love you for who you are .
i have given alot .
i have given you practically my everything .
what have you ever done for me ?
my heart hurts a thousand times more then my hand .
even though now i couldn't hold heavy things .
you know how hurtful my hand was .
will you just think for me a little ?
i don't mind you just wanting sex .
i don't mind whatever other things you're lying to me .
JUST DON'T LIE TO ME SAYING YOU LOVED ME .
have you understood th feeling of heartcracking ?
you seriously don't know anything .
except ,
drinking , smoking , flirting and fcuking .
i'm so scared of this feeling .
i'm so afraid .
i earn to see you .
i earn to hug you .
i earn to be together with you .
i have never wanted to let go .
but ,
everybody is giving me pressure .
i am feeling so painful .
low class ,
slut ,
bitch .
i have heard enough .
i din't want to have th impression that you are another bastard in my life .
i only wanted to know how good you are to me .
you just choose to dash everything .
even that small little strength ,
is gone .
idk how to let go .
i'm suffering hard .
drinking everynight .
numbing myself .
all i get is scoldings from everybody .
i know you all meant well .
i admit i refuse to help myself .
when will be th day i pull th rope that is infront of me ?
let's wait .
i know i can .
just lack of confidence .
i'm so tired .
too tired to stand .
my legs went numb .
boy ,
my last thing for you .
i know i have once loved you .
i will always have th mindset that everything you have done ,
is real and true .
nomatter whether you are gonna stay in singapore ,
or getting back to thai ,
all th best .
i will remember every single thing you said to me .
just don't tell me they are lies .
i rather deceive myself .
i don't hate anybody in my life .
i hope this is gonna be th last goodbye .
and i will never turn back anymore .
GOODBYE , my-love-one .
you are gonna be deeply etched in my heart .
GOODBYE , myLOVE .
tag replies .
Von , will link you up soon .
Vien , i know .
i am alr low class-ed .
everything is gonna be ending with a fullstop .
soon !
Labels: i was treating like a dirt right from th beginning
