yay! was out on wednesday.
met Alina dahling, xingjuan mei and naeem(:
shopped like nobodies business.
spent my 200dollars and are left with 25-.-
LOLOL xD
but, it's been sooooo long since i shopped till my leg ache!
i want more more more!


time flies.
this coming saturday is the second month we got together.
everything seems to just start yesterday.
and it feels like, me and him just ended yesterday as well.
it really flies.
and i guess, i have grown atleast 2 years older.
*( i mean looks )
hahaha xD
gonna be 18 soon.
and, i don't feel any difference.
same old feeling.
plus, everyone will never believe that i'm ONLY gonna be 18-.-
maybe that makes me not feeling...
eager to be 18 anymore. sianded.


had mood spoilt by my daddy.
wonder what exactly happened to him.
he called and told me.
or should i say asked me.
whether i still have parents anot.
or whether i still treat that as my own house anot?
seriously, i told my mom.
if it's not because of how he acts everytime,
it's super easy for me to return home.
atleast once a week.
better then i din't return for this straight 2 months.
you are changing to be so scary.
you are causing my mommy to get depression.
she cried everytime.
she is on her verge on killing herself.
and every single time you done something 'wierd', she cried alone in the room.
who freaking cause all this?
eventhough i don't return home,
i'll always remember i had a mom.
i'll still give her a call.
during some of my off day's, i return back to accompany her for dinner.
then what have you done?
you don't satisfy her needs in money.
or anything else.
when she is sick, where were you?
when she is crying, what the fcuk were you doing?
when you need help, you speak like a cat asking for help.
when you don't, you treat her like a thrash.
come on. if i were her, i would have left LONG AGO.
i wonder how many women in this world could actually tolerate such things?
and if you think i nolonger treat you as my father, or parents, go ahead.
i know, my mom is forever there for me.
and, i will do exactly the same thing.
because, i know how much she loves me and i do too.
for you, i couldn't be sure.
if you think by being our FATHER and you keep using your authority to press on us,
you'll be so damn regretful.
because, no one will be willing to give in neither listen a single bit to you.
i cried in my counter because you said such thing's to me.
i cried because i'm sooooooo disappointed in you.
i cried because i was thinking how come you changed so much.
i cried because i thought you were a great father.
in the end, you proved me wrong.
how wrong am i?
you were great when i'm young.
but, you scuk-ed when i grew up.
you seems to be a stranger to me.
and, i nolonger wish to speak to you.
if you think so too, let it go.
i won't let this bother me anymore.
because all along, to you.
boys are more important.
big brother is the greatest.
daughters are nothing.
daughters are just something you use when you need help.
what do i get from you?
i don't feel a single thing.
i don't feel even a simple father love from you.
i grew up in which ever environment.
it seems to have no link from you.
what have you given me?
practically NOTHING.
except the money to raise me up.
that's all.
i really don'tknow what to say about you.
and i'm super unwilling to see you once more....